Cultivating deep relationships- How to attract others

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First, let’s ponder the fundamental objective mindset regarding relationships. This state of mind assumes that other people are different, and different than you, and you correspond with them through languages, tone of voice, and body language. Here are some examples of the objective relationship framework:

Separation - People have their own thoughts which are different and distinct from your own.

Risk of rejection - Human interaction is both inaccurate and uncertain because you never know what other people are thinking.

Potential resistance - It takes daring to approach an unfamiliar person; you never know what type of resistance you may encounter when you try to start a conversation with an individual you don’t know.

Trust takes time - Relationships are built on open communication, mutual trust, and familiarity, which take time to make.

Bonding takes time - You feel nearer to people you know, and separated from people that you don’t know. Complete strangers are your biggest risk of all; the less you know about someone, the less positive you are of your mutual rapport prospects.

Risk of attachment - There’s a definite risk of becoming close to destructive, or abusive relationships and people (or simply those that no longer serve a purpose) because you’ve invested so much time and vigor in constructing them. This is the relationship structure that most individuals identify with. Nonetheless, I consider this a disempowering state of mind, not because it’s so horrible — it is rather functional — but because there’s a better alternative. I spent most of my life utilizing this framework, and I received run of the mill results with it. I had fun spending time with my friends, and I didn’t suffer from too much loneliness, but I never had secure relationships with friends who’d persuade me to live up to my true potential or who’d let me do the same with them.

It was kind of a silent rule that you didn’t talk about things like duty, principle, or service for the a better good. Such topics were the domain of famous historical people and saints, not ordinary persons with bills to pay, and jobs to go to. The attitude of relationships First, let’s mull over the basic objective about relationships. This attitude assumes that other people are detached and different from you, and you talk with them through words, tone of voice, and body language. Here are some categories of the objective relationship structure:

Separation - Other individuals have their own feelings which are different from yours.

Risk of rejection - Human relations are both inaccurate and chancy because you never know for sure what other people are thinking about you or a subject.

Potential opposition - It takes boldness to approach an unfamiliar person; you never know what level of resistance you may get when you try to begin a discussion with someone you that don’t know. Trust takes time - Associations and friendship are based on communication, confidence, and familiarity, which all take time to construct.

Bonding takes time - You are drawn closer to individuals you are familiar with and more isolated from people you don’t know. Complete strangers are the biggest risk; the less you know about someone, the less sure you are of your mutual friendship prospects.

Risk of attachment - There’s a hazard of becoming attached to toxic or abusive affairs (or merely those that no longer help you grow) for the simple reason that you’ve invested so much personal time and energy in constructing them. This is the framework for relationships that people associate themselves with. And it is very common.

Dump it! - Why you may ask? Not because it is not functional because it is. It’s just that there is a better alternative. I have spent many years of my life using the above mindset, and the results I received were mediocre at best. Don’t get me wrong, I had many magical moments with friends, buy I never acquired close personal friendships with friends who would encourage me to be myself and live up to my best potential, or who would let me offer the same to them. It was often the norm that you did not discuss things like purpose, or your mission in life because such esoteric topics were the in the domain of famous historical icons of saints, not everyday people with bills to pay and jobs to go to.

A chance meeting - One day I had an encounter with a strange woman. I call it a chance meeting because our meeting was the consequence of a peculiar occurrence.

During one of our initial conversations with each other, I virtually bared my heart out to her. She discovered more about who I was in a single conversation than my all of my friends had learned baout in years. At the time I didn’t know why I felt the way I did with her — I just felt secure with her, and I sensed that she wasn’t judging me. We became close acquaintances immediately. I’d never felt such a deep touching closeness with another person take place so quickly before.

As time went on I observed how this woman interacted with other people, and I observed how simple it was for her to relate to others. Total strangers such as myself would open up to her within the first few minutes of meeting her. When I asked her how she engaged the trust of others so quickly and easily, she explained that it was a result of a particular way she had about viewing other people. (Her mindset)

For a long time I had resisted adapting her technique because it didn’t seem natural for me, and it felt false, yet it begged the question as to how something could be false when it worked so well. Ultimately I let down my guard long enough to try it, and she was correct. It made a huge difference for me as well.

I began to attract new friends immediately. As you may have guessed, that particular woman was Connie, who’s been my wife for 22+ years now. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of chatting with her yourself, you immediately know what she’s all about. She talks to you as a kindred soul, treating you as a real human instead of as your title, your appearance, or your character. She connects with others so readily that grown men often cry during conversations with her. While Connie definitely has some natural talent in this area, I’ve witnessed that her mindset is the key element of her capacity to authentically connect to others. To the degree I’ve been fortunate to implement her viewpoint in this area, I’ve been capable of drawing nearer to her results. My results aren’t the same level as hers, but luckily this isn’t an all-or-nothing thing.

The mindset - So what is the way of thinking that makes it easier to relate to other people? Here it is in a nutshell:

Each person you meet up with in your life — even strangers — is already personally connected to you. The mindset that we are all detached and dissimilar beings is not anything less than an illusion. Everyone one of us is parts of a larger sum. Furthermore, everything and everyone you encounter out there in the world are merely reflections of yourself. Just as the cells in an living being carry the same mitochondrial material, other people are out there with some component of you inside of them. When you look gaze at others, you’re really gazing at yourself. When you observe others, it’s the same as your eyes observing your hands. We’re all pieces of the same whole. Areas of the interrelated model of interaction:

Oneness - Others are not detached and distinctive from you. They are you.

Connectedness to each other - You don’t need to “construct” interactions and interactions with others because you’re already connected to them. You need only adjust into the pre-existing bond that’s already there.

Risk free - Little courage is necessary to draw near to strangers. You’re never constructing new associations from scratch. You’re recognizing what’s already present.

Equality - We are all the same no matter rich nor poor, famous nor obscure. Importance - All relationships are important; none are immaterial. The strangers that you pass on the street are also vital parts of you.

Love without mandatory attachment - Letting go of toxic relationships is simpler because you’re still unconditionally linked to everybody else. As you relinquish old relationships that no longer help you to grow, you’ll attract new ones that are attuned with you.

Applying the technique :

When you adopt the frame of mind that we’re all innately connected, these are some of the results that will attach themselves naturally to you:

Easy connection - You’ll connect with strangers as easily as you connect with your family, sometimes even easier. The main difference between total strangers and friends is intellectual awareness, and you can tap into an instinctive awareness even with people you’ve never met.

Equality - You’ll begin to feel a affinity with people, in spite of familiarity.

Attraction - You’ll begin starting new relationships very easily. Like-minded people will be attracted to you.

Synchronicity - You’ll encounter a magnification in synchronicities that lead to chance meetings, meeting others that you feel very drawn to meet.

Social bravery - Have you ever seen somebody from a distance you felt you were destined to meet up with? Have you ever met into the same person numerous times in the same day? With the correct belief system, you’ll feel positive starting a conversation with those people, and you’ll discover that your hunches were correct — you were intended to meet.

Deep relationships - You’ll experience deeper, less shallow relationships, getting to learn about people at the level of essence.

Energizing - You’ll attract people that energize you rather than deplete you.

Reading people – Because of the fact that we’re all connected, you can mentally bond with others, and share the same thoughts that go beyond the physical. You can even do it at a distance.

With enough practice you can acquire an accurate reading on someone you’ve never actually met, gathering specific data about people that you couldn’t have known in a merely objective sense. Put this advice into practice increases both your correctness and your aptitude to trust the information that you pick up. These benefits aren’t all-or-none or either-or. You steadily gain them as your knowledge of our spiritual interconnection grows.

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My experiment with meditation

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Meditation
Does the word conjure up images of Indian Holy men sitting for hours on end with their legs crossed; hands on their knees with palms facing upward?
After years of western clinical study, you can now discard that thought, as people from all walks of life, from Plumbers to CEO's of major corporations have taken up the practice.
So what exactly is meditation, and why should I waste twenty minutes of my precious day to practice it?

After a lifetime of reading about it, and seeing it in magazines and tabloid style journals, I decided to finally give it a try at the beginning of April of this year.
Seeing as I hadn't a clue as to where to begin I headed for my trusty computer, dusted off the keyboard, fired up Google, and typed in the keyword "meditation."

A daunting task that returned 38,600,000 hits awaited me. "Hmmm I muttered to myself," images of days in front of the pc whittling away at the inessentials to get to exactly what I needed, a no-frills approach to meditation regarding a busy lifestyle.. I then typed in
"Meditation Western Style," and came across a book aptly named, "The Relaxation Response" by Herbert Benson MD. A free electronic copy can be found here.

I was a thoroughly Western, rational, mechanist, Ayn-Rand-Objectivist, John-Wayne-style "I'll do it myself" individualist until I read this book, and put its theory to practice.

THE RELAXATION RESPONSE is written in such a clear and no-nonsense way, and it's so easy to follow, that its gotten me to do what I had come to believe was the impossible: to sit quietly for twenty minutes every evening with a relatively empty mind.

Herbert Benson is a Harvard cardiologist who pioneered the research into stress-related causes for diseased such as hypertension. Always weary of having his research seen as nothing more than new age fluffery, Dr. Benson made sure to prove his results by rigidly adhering to the scientific method.

Dr. Benson's results show that there is a capacity inherent in all human beings to invoke a "relaxation response" that can counter the effects of the "flight or flight response" which is at the root of many modern stress-related illnesses.

By learning to invoke the "relaxation response" once or twice a day for just ten minutes at a sitting, one can effectively lower high blood pressure, and gain more tranquility in their emotional life.

Here are my results to date:

Focus – My job is an extremely highly technical one requiring a great amount of mental flexibility, and the very first response that I had noticed was my ability to sharply focus on what I was doing. Prior to this my mind would wander all over the place on no particular topic at all. Now my ability to zero in on what I am doing while I eliminate all of the mental white noise is remarkable. Focus = efficiency and maximizing of time.

Relaxation - I now notice that I can relax not only faster, but longer as well. Prior to this, relaxation was just another word in the dictionary, and no amount of metaphysical alchemy would ever allow me to experience it. Boy was I wrong.

Sleep - I have always been a person who never knew how long it would take for me to drift off to sleep, and my bed was constantly my battleground. In spite of a long, and hard day at work, I would sometimes go to bed exhausted, and unable to sleep. Thoughts would be racing through my head at the rate of about 1 per second.Well not any more. If I find that I can’t switch off my mind at bedtime, then I simply invoke the relaxation response that I practice every night after my workout, and dinner. Within 30 minutes I am now fast asleep.

Other subtle changes – I am also noticing other changes that are somewhat hard to verbalize. It seems as if my entire being is now more energized, yet relaxed. I can now work longer, and rest better, and all of this in only two months time.

Try it for 2 weeks. (The time it took me to begin to notice the subtle changes within myself) I guarantee that you will reap the rewards that the relaxation response promises to deliver on.

How Often Do You Check-up On Your Credit Score?

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I’m a numbers guy, and I love crunching numbers, and that's one of the reasons that credit scores attract me as much as they do.

It's amazing how these companies can distill all of the financial actions that a person transacts, and compress them into a three-digit number system that creditors go ga-ga over.

While I make no judgment as o if the system is evil or good, unfortunately it is the system of choice that attempts to make you play by the rules of their games. With that being stated, I have been using Credit Karma to see my score every month.

Credit Karma is a TransUnion based credit score that is based on the data that TransUnion proves, so while it is not my FICO credit score, as long as I don't intend on getting a loan, it's not important for me to get an exact number.

The nicest part about using Credit Karma is that it's free. I might as well take a benefit from it using the service. In the time that I have been monitoring my credit score, I have seen an increase from bankruptcy in July of 2000, all the way back up to 789. (May 28th)

The reason that I check my credit score every thirty days is not because I want to know what the exact number is, (I'm not applying for a loan) but because it gives me an early indication if something looks suspicious.

It is basically no cost identity theft security on my TransUnion credit report. I know exactly what I do financially and how my credit score will be impacted, so if any large changes appear in my overall score, I immediately check my TransUnion report for any anomalies (One free check per year here.) Once a month should be sufficient enough to check, although there are many people out there who sign up for fee-based services like MyFICO which I think is rather costly and unnecessary. How do you feel and why?

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Is it Really Decaf?

Ever have trouble falling to sleep after a cup of restaurant "Decaf"?
You can avoid a night of sleeplessness by making sure the decaf that you ordered is really decaf.
A product called, D+caf test strip changes color if your cup of java has more than 20 mg of caffeine. ( A regular 8=ounce cup can contain at a minimum 100 mg.)

One out of every six cups of decaf coffee from three restaurant chains contains more than 20 mg of caffeine according to a 2007 study.
Order them at discovertesting.com

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Saving Money at Your computer in the Next Hour

Saving Money at Your computer in the Next Hour
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As you examine this, you’re prone to be sitting at your computer with Internet access. You have a little of free time, so you’re in search of some thoughts on money management or on your life.

Here are several useful tips on saving money in under an hour.
Find a better bank - I’m often stunned to find that the majority of people seem to be very dejected with their primary bank. They’re charged needless fees, don’t bring in much interest, and are deeply inconvenienced by the service or the ATM network.
These issues are not only an irritation - they cost you genuine money that adds up to huge sums over time.

I am here to tell you that it does not have to be that way - There are countless banks out there with great customer service, fee-free ATM networks, no outlandish fees to simply retain a checking account, and offer interest on even fundamentally small checking accounts.
I currently use ING Direct’s Electric Orange checking, for instance, after having deserted checking and savings accounts with a large nationwide bank, and that change has saved me $75 a month per month in the months since the change.

Search around for a better bank - There are a ton of options besides ING - glance at HSBC Direct, FNBO Direct, and E-Trade are all high-quality banks that have strong customer service goals, keep the fees from draining your cash, and offer interest on the checking.
Don’t base your conclusion exclusively on interest rates, though, as those differ quite a bit over time - instead, do a Google search to find reviews on all the banks and keep a cautious eye out for customer service feedback.

Most banks allow you to sign up for their services online, so if you settle on going the full nine yards, you can essentially begin the course of switching to a different bank right at your PC.

Set up an automatic savings plan - Though it’s an enormous plan to use a full-service bank for your main checking, for lots of people, it’s superior to have a bank savings account set aside for emergency funds.
While I usually utilize a savings account at my bank for my emergency finances, I usually hunt first and foremost for the top rate when I’m saving for a particular goal (like electronic or appliance replacement).
One first-class place - to accomplish that is with SmartyPig and if you do sign up with them, they present a strong rate of interest if you start an automatic savings plan with their company, they also pitch in discounts from certain retailers if you meet your savings goal.
So, if you need to replace an appliance in the next few months, set that up as an objective with SmartyPig, earn a good rate of interest as you save, and get a price cut on the item itself when you reach the target. I’m currently using SmartyPig to save up for a new LCD television by putting away just a few dollars a week.

Another great way to discover a high-interest savings account - just for setting some money aside is Bankrate.com’s savings account yield rate listing. It allows you to observe the highest rates available nationwide for savings.

Read your local store’s flyer - and arrange a meal preparation and shopping list It’s so easy to arrange a meal plan and shopping list, yet many people bounce and head to the local store cold. Just a few minutes of preparation work can save you a bit of cash and also make your shopping spree shorter - and there is no faster place to do it than right at the convenience of your computer.

Visit the website of your store and download their weekly flyer - Look through the flyer and spot a few interesting things that are on sale, and use those things as the backbones of the meals for your approaching week - make a listing of the meals, in fact. If you need assistance, use a recipe catalog like RecipeSource to fill in the holes. Then, from that listing of meals, create a grocery listing that includes all of the items you need. You can create both the meal preparation and the grocery listing on your PC’s texting editor or at Google Docs.

Once you’re satisfied, print off the list and head to the store - Shopping by a grocery list is not only quicker than drifting the aisles, it’s also cheaper.

Do some research for an impending major purchase - Whenever you make an important purchase - and I view important as being anything over $25 o - you owe it to yourself to do research into making that purchase, whether it’s simply to make sure you’re buying precisely what you want or making sure you’re receiving the right price. Doing this, however, can be time consuming. Here are a few guidelines to help get you started.

ConsumerReports.org - I use Consumer Reports as the opening point of many of my most important purchases (and many of my minor purchases, too). I use their information as the preparatory point for purchases and as a good indicator of the comparative quality of a given item compared to the competition

Thump on over to Twitter Search and Technorati for detailed comments from actual users - Both of these tools expose what people are saying about specific items and companies.

Sign up for an exchange service - I enjoy watching movies and I particularly enjoy reading books. Sure, I can use the library for these things, but I have to keep in mind to return them and I can’t make my own markups on the books if I want to. I’d rather to have a copy of my if I find long-term worth in it, but I also like to have the flexibility to lose the item if I don’t want to keep it over the long run.

So what do I use? - I use PaperBackSwap to trade my books by mail and SwapADVD to trade with DVDs. It’s easy - just sign up, designate ten books or DVDs that you’re ready to send to other people, and you collect two credits that you can use to ask that other books (or DVDs) be sent to you (the cost is currently one credit each). When someone needs one of your books, wrap it up and send it out (it costs about $2.00), and you’ll get an additional credit. The end result is that you can trade DVDs and books you don’t want for DVDs and books you do want for about $2.00 apiece, which is much cheaper than buying them.
I’ve been their services for years and I’ve had nothing but success with them.

Set up a Roth IRA Account - Countless people out there think they should be saving for retirement, but it seems like a huge obstacle. How does one even get started on something like that? The truth is you can actually get started right at your writing table. Many investment firms have Roth IRA plans that are simple to sign up for - all you need is a web browser. From there, you can set up an automatic contribution from your checking account into your Roth IRA. This is precisely how I signed up for my Roth IRA through Vanguard.

The first step is to make sure a Roth IRA is precisely for you. Are you qualified for a retirement plan through your job and, if so, do they provide matching donations into that plan? If that’s the case, it’s worth signing up for their plan just to get the match. Are your earnings under the limits for a Roth IRA? If you earn less than $100K, you’re all right, but if not, you’ll want to check the eligibility rules.

Also, are you at present earning considerably more than you expect to bring rake in retirement? If so, then the Roth IRA might not assist you in terms of taxes - look for a regular IRA for your savings, or see if there is a 401(k) or 403(b) plan available at your place of employment.

What should you invest in? - For many individuals, a simple “target retirement” index fund is the top choice. It automatically balances your retirement savings for you, keeping you aggressively in stocks when you’re young and stepping up to more stable bonds and cash as you draw closer to retirement. Most investment houses offer “target retirement” options.

Once you’ve made your choices, though, signing up for a Roth IRA is in fact quite easy. Just fill out the online forms, set up an automatic deduction from your checking account, and watch your retirement savings begin to grow.
Good luck!

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Effective treatment for rheumatoid arthritis

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Many experts recommend Glucosamine for the treatment of osteoarthritis but there is no evidence that it works.

Curcumin - the yellow pigment of the herb turmeric, is as effective as potent anti-inflammatory drugs in improving morning stiffness and joint swelling without the side effects.
Recommended dosage is 400 to 600 mg 3 times a day.

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How to get a herbal preperation to deliver the desired effect

Tinctures - Luckily most herbs are available in this form which usually contain a high percentage of grain alcohol to prevent spoilage, are highly stable, and preserve the active ingredient of plants in a concentrated, convenient form according to Andrew Weil MD, director of the Arizona center for Integrative medicine.

Likewise, freeze-drying herbs helps maintain the potency of medicinal plants.

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3 cures for tension headaches

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Three cures for tension headaches

1. Tiger Balm - Relieves acute tension headaches just as well as Tylenol.
2. Feverfew - Helps prevent migraines but there is no evidence that it soothes tension headaches.
3. Magnesium - Low levels of magnesium in some people trigger tension headaches.

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My Road To Financial Disaster: The Yuppie Years

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One of my biggest mistakes that I had made back in the big hair days (1980’s) was living a “yuppie” existence. I only bought the finest furniture for my rented unit, a giant TV (27”) a leather sofa, A stereo surround sound system, all the latest whats it’s in my kitchen, a new giant dining room set and chairs, a new bedroom setup, you name it, and I had it.

The worst part of this whole process was that I was replacing things that were still useable. Everything had to be nice and new classy, and I paid thru the teeth for it.
Well actually, I didn’t directly have to pay for it really, and that was my second mistake: I began to finance this “yuppie” lifestyle using nothing credit cards. I was already in a fair amount of debt at the time but I proceeded to rack up $10,000 thousand dollars in credit card debt buying all of these unneeded items in a very short time. The really sad part was that I had a gorgeous dining room table set, and it was stacked full of credit card bills.

I wanted to live in a small community, so I made my third mistake. I lived in a place that generated a lot of transportation expenses. I worked in two cities that were separated by about forty-five minutes, so rather than living in one of these cities; I opted to move in the center of both places. This meant that rather than giving me the inexpensive ease of using public transportation to get to my work, I had to maintain my vehicle with gas, periodic repairs, insurance, ad-nauseum. This rapidly became a colossal money pit that wore me down over a long period of time.

Even worse was the complete lack of availability of local services. My only choice for foodstuff, for example, was either a fifteen minute drive or a very exclusive local grocery store. Either choice meant that each time I purchased food, I was losing money by living where I was at. Given my standard of living, though, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that I spent appallingly high amounts of money (life energy) on groceries because of this aspect, without even giving it a passing thought.

I also had to choose this most unfortunate time to get caught up in financially pricey hobbies. Rather than choosing hobbies with a low price per hour of pleasure, like reading books, I chose hobbies with a high price per hour of enjoyment ( DVDs). This made for some high monthly entertainment expenses, far outside of anything reasonable for my income to maintain.

The end result is that I lived like a real consumer, digging myself further and further into debt while I wandered through my 30s. Then I made an even bigger financial choice: I decided to get married. Little did I know the financial collision that it would have on my situation. As time went on I eventually paid off my debt and never again looked back. I learned that money = life energy and that saving was much easier than bleeding. The final straw was a failed business venture. More on that later.

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Top Stories

The new money rules

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There are moments in time that make you stop and think.
Or at least moments that should. This is one of those times. After watching the mortgage bubble burst, stock markets nosedive, credit freeze up, the auto industry virtually implode, and too many Americans lose their jobs, frankly you need a different set of principles for how to manage your finances. That's why we're proposing these 10 rules for a changed economy. Some might sound familiar; others would have been unthinkable just a year ago. All are intended to protect you going forward. So forget what you've learned.

Here are the New Money Rules -

Be aware that your risk tolerance is probably lower than you thought.
Perhaps the biggest lesson of the past 12 months is that most of us are a lot less bold with our money than we imagined. "When the market was going up, you said you had a high tolerance for risk. When it went down, you became intolerant in a hurry," observes Wall Street Journal columnist Jason Zweig in his recent book, "Your Money and Your Brain: How the New Science of Neuroeconomics Can Help Make You Rich" (Simon & Schuster, 2008).

So take with a grain of salt those old rules like the one that says young people can afford risky "aggressive" investments because they have more time to make up for the losses, while older folks should stick to safe "conservative" choices." If you ask 10 different people what 'conservative' means, you will get 10 different answers," says Greg Plechner, a certified financial planner with Modera Wealth Management in New Jersey.

Focus instead on your time horizon, or how soon you'll need the money. The sooner that is, the less risk you should take. And whatever your age, remember the market gyrations of the past eight months, and be realistic about your capacity to hang in there if things tank.

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How to get the best price on a vehicle without ever visiting a dealership

New car buying, the bane of modern society.
Have you been considering purchasing a new automobile lately? Has the thought of having to duke it out with the local car dealership sent shivers down your spine? If you're like me and others that I know, going to the new car dealer is like going to the dentist for a painful operation.

Horror stories abound of hapless souls wandering into a dealership fully clothed and barely leaving with just the shirt on their backs.
In this article I will show you that all you will need in your arsenal to beat them at their own game is a little knowledge, and a fax machine. You see, I learned the hard way by sitting in the dealers office (Hot seat) for hours on end while the salesperson went back and forth to his manager to try to get me the best (don't bend yourself over too far) deal.


Items needed :

A word Processor or sheet of paper, and a pencil.

One fax machine

Access to Consumer Reports (Online Edition)

Your first step is to know exactly what you want in your vehicle down to the most minute of details so that you can price the vehicle out with the options that you choose.
Order a sample report report from consumerreports.org which cost $15.00 (2007 prices)
This is a comprehensive report detailing what the dealer actually pays for a vehicle, and what they try to soak you for including the options available.

Next take your report and type, or write a generic letter for each dealership that you intend on contacting. Let them know that you know what the actual dealer cost is for the vehicle plus your options vs. what they are asking you to pay. (Dealer markup)
Your report will list a simple formula for getting the best margin. Sample Fax Letter

Next call the dealership and work with a single salesperson, and let them know that you will be faxing them an offer letter shortly for your chosen vehicle.

Once the generic letter is drawn up fax no fewer than 10 dealerships the letter that you have created stating what you are willing to pay for the vehicle plus options. Follow up with a phone call to your intended target.

Here is where the beauty of the entire system gets powerful and starts to flow.
If they accept your offer ask them to sign it and fax it back to you before going in to finalize any deals. This way you can protect yourself from the inherent unscrupulousness of the majority of sales people out there in the auto industry.

And also keep in mind, one sure way to kill any deal that you may obtain is to finance thru the dealership themselves. This guarantees that any savings that you realized in the initial deal gets added back to the contract thru deceptive mathematics.

Oh did I forget to mention?.... enjoy your new car!

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Letter to Berge Ford

We are ready to purchase a 2007 Ford Mustang Premium
We are contacting several Ford Dealers and will buy where we get the best price. We’d prefer to buy from Berge Ford where we’d also have the vehicle serviced. (We have not worked with a salesperson in your store.) Here are the specs:

Code No. Vehicle Equipment Invoice MSRP
T80/110A Ford Mustang Premium Coupe Invoice-$18,948 MSRP-$20,990
* 5 speed automatic transmission Standard
43A Front Seat Side mounted Airbags Invoice-$330 MSRP- $380
54P V6 Pony Package Invoice-$653 MSRP-$750
21A 6-way Power driver seat Invoice-$318 MSRP-$365
18G Interior Upgrade package Invoice-$440 MSRP-$460
14A Active Anti-theft Invoice-$257 MSRP-$295
17L Wheel Lock Kit Invoice-$44 MSRP-$50
Destination Charge Invoice-$745 MSRP-$745
Performance Package Invoice-$295 MSRP-$325
Documentation Fee Waived

Totals $22,030 $24,360



Acceptable colors are black, teal, or Grey.We don’t want rust or fabric protection or paint sealant, or other add-ons.
We are aware that the dealership will receive an additional profit of $607.00 in dealer holdback from this sale – 3% of MSRP, excluding destination charges of $745.00.
We’d expect any current dealer cash incentives to be reflected in your price proposal such as the $1500.00 that Ford is currently offering along with the VIN rebates, but we would like to waive for 3.9% financing for 60 months. We also have a feel for the prices paid by people similarly prepared.
You will find us easy to deal with. You may call us at 480-251-6700. We look forward to hearing from you.

Raymond Michaels

Below is an outstanding offer from Roger at Berge Ford

Roger,
To reiterate on our agreed price on the Mustang premium coupe you have quoted us an out the door price of $22,437 plus tax with all of the options above. You also quoted us 3.9% for 60 months on financing and a fair value on our 1997 Mustang 2 door coupe as a trade in dependent on my high credit score (Currently over 1000)
If you are in agreement with the above then please sign this document and fax it back to me at 480-816-4959.
Upon doing this I agree to come in to purchase the vehicle.
Thank You,
Raymond Michaels

Virtually eliminate your chances of having a heart attack

Photo by Argonne
Want to virtually eliminate all chances of ever having a heart attack? The secret concerns a B vitamin called Niacin. When Niacin is taken with a statin the combination reduces heart attack risk by 90% according to a University of Washington study. Medical research has never been more supportive of this treatment yet very few people know about it, and many primary care Doctors don't prescribe it.
A few of the impressive benefits include:
*It raises good cholesterol and lowers triglycerides.
*It enlarges the smallest, densest, most dangerous particles so they are less likely to damage arteries.
*Brings down harmful levels of a blood component called lipoprotein(a), which is resistant to the benefits of stations, diet, and exercise.

But here's the catch: You can't get enough of this vitamin naturally in your diet to achieve the results. To achieve results your body needs 500 to 2,000 mg. and at this dosage many patients experience flushing, skin reddens, warms, and sometimes itches. Although this side effect subsides within an hour, the experience can be unpleasant. That is why Doctors hesitate to prescribe niacin.

These symptoms can be minimized is niacin is taken with aspirin, antihistamines, or a meal. In fact flushing is a positive sign that blood vessels are dilating in response to niacin, and patients who flush ultimately raise their HDLs and lower their LDLs more than those that don't flush.

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Get Safer Dental X-Rays

A trip to the dentist should mean cleaner teeth, not a higher cancer risk - yet some x-ray machines emit more than 4 times the radiation now deemed safe, say dentists at the University of North Carolina and UCLA.Ask yours if they use newer F-speed (instead of D-speed) film, as well as rectangular collimation (instead of round) to restrict beam size. Are you switching dentists? Show the new one your prior full-mouth series and question whether your bitewing x-rays will suffice.

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Using the Internet as a powerful research tool

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Using the Internet as a powerful research tool
There is a wealth of information easily available on the Internet and various search engines can be used to research and locate the specific information you need. Some of these search engines have been around for quite a while and produce excellent results – others are fairly new to the Internet and may have different methods for achieving the same results. The more popular search engines will give you the most dependable results since they are maintained on a regular basis.

Most of these search engines are considered ‘web crawlers’; that is, the ‘spider’ portion of the engine continuously crawls over the Internet to find a corresponding Web page and then follows the links that have been made to other pages. These pages get added to the index of the search engine. Then, when you enter your word or phrase as the search criteria, the engine looks through these indexed pages to find matches for your criteria and delivers the results to you in ranking order depending on its relevance to your request.

Now, let’s take a look at some search engines that are currently available and use the links below to access these pages. If you are not yet very familiar or comfortable with using the Internet for this purpose, use this exercise to examine the sites and actually perform some searches. Access each search engine mentioned below and enter the same search criteria to see the various results that will be produced. This exercise may help you determine which engine to use when performing your Internet searches.
http://www.searchenginewatch.com/webmasters/article.php/2167961


Ask Jeeves www.ask.com
Use this natural language search engine to ask questions related to the information you need. For example, when I entered the question “where can I find information about technical writing”, a few of the following search results were returned:

macadamian.com www.macadamian.com
This is a website about a software engineering and consulting firm specializing in working with hardware and software companies to develop new products

stc.org www.stc.org
This is the web site for Society for Technical Communication which is a professional association for technical communicators

So as you can see, this search engine produced many different results: an online resource for receiving a technical degree, a consulting firm, and a professional organization. While this very well might be your intention, it could also cost you a lot of time if the results are not specific enough and you find yourself having to search and search and search to find exactly what you need. This can easily cause you to go through many hours searching the Internet.

There are various search tools available on the Web. To determine which one of these tools will work for you, it will be helpful to know how they were designed so you can receive the results you need.

AltaVista http://www.altavista.com
This search engine delivers useful information due to the fact that it has numerous indices. You can perform simple searches by entering the words or phrase specific to your request. When you enter capitalized words, the search will become case-sensitive and only those words spelled exactly as they were entered will be returned.

To search a phrase, include your words within double quotes. For example, type “Technical Writing Certification” and you will receive a set of results that include links for only technical writing certification sites.

To eliminate a word from your search results, identify it with a - before the word to ‘subtract’ it from your result set.. For example, type “Technical Writing” -Online and you will receive a set of results related to technical writing that is not associated with the word online.

To include a word to your search results, identify the word with a + before the word to ‘add’ it to your result set. For example, type “Technical Writing” +Online and you will receive a set of results related to technical writing that is also associated with the word online.

Remember – if you enter a string of words within double quotes, you will receive a list of sites that correspond exactly to the order in which the words appear within the double quotes. So if you enter “Technical Writing Certification”, your search will return sites that have these three words in the exact order in which they were entered. If you enter technical writing +certification, your search will return sites that have any one of these words appearing in any order within the results set. Either of these methods might be appropriate depending on the type of results you would like to see.

You can also use wildcards to substitute any combination of letters. For example, type tech*** and you will receive a set of results that include Georgia Tech, CNET technology news, the Tech Museum of Innovation, and several other non-related topics. This might be helpful if you are not exactly sure of the spelling for the word. This feature may not be available when using other search engines.

By using the advanced search feature, you can really narrow down your results even further. For example, type “Technical Writing” +Certification -Online will produce a list of results for technical writing certification but not those that are performed online. These examples illustrate how you can best narrow your criteria in order to get specific and targeted results from your Internet search.

Google http://www.google.com
This is a fairly new search engine and has many of the same features that are described above for Alta Vista. It produces good results and also has an advanced search capability. It has become the most popular search engine!

Excite http://www.excite.com
This search engine uses a combination of text and subject indices. You can sort your results by relevance or search engine.

Lycos http://www.lycos.com
This search engine has been around for quite a while and it continues to be fast although it does not have the advanced search capabilities and robust features as some other engines.

Yahoo http://www.yahoo.com
Although Yahoo is more than just a search engine, it’s simple to use and you can just enter a word to produce a hierarchical subject index listing.


Tips
1. You may want to try different engines to determine which will best fit your needs.

2. If you are on a specific time schedule and don’t want to spend hours searching, you should spend a few minutes up front to narrow your criteria to produce exactly the results you need.

3. Utilize operators (+, -, and double quotes) to specify your inquiry and increase the relevancy of your result set.

4. Do not use common terms since they will result in numerous hits.

5. Be specific – you’ll be more likely to get the results you need.

Go to http://searchenginewatch.com/ to find a wealth of information about how search engines work, news articles, reviews, tips, etc.

Resources
There are numerous valuable resources for a technical communicator on the Internet from industry standards to professional organizations. Here are some for your reference.

www.stc.org
The Society for Technical Communications is a professional organization for technical communicators and references publications and seminar/educational programs
www.cptsc.org
The Council for Programs in Technical and Scientific Communication is another professional organization and includes links to related sites
www.ieeepcs.org
The Professional Communication Society is comprised of a diversified group of professionals and promotes technical communications.
www.microsoft.com

Click on the Downloads link and enter “manual of style” as keywords – you will be able to download the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications
www.m-w.com
This is the Merriam-Webster Online dictionary
www.writerswrite.com
This page includes links to many other resources that are useful for technical writers
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/internet/resources/index.html
This site is the Online Writing Lab (OWL) for Purdue University and offers links to many resources
www.resourcehelp.com
Here’s another site that offers many links to other helpful resources

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How to Change the Oil on an Automobile

Photo by G-Rated Birdman of El Paso

How to Change the Oil on an Automobile
Changing the oil in your vehicle on a regular basis is the most important thing you can do to lengthen the life of your engine. Refer to the manufacturer’s owner's manual for the exact time periods to accomplish this procedure.

If you have basic automobile knowledge and access to a few simple tools, you can change the oil on any car in a short amount of time. Changing your own oil not only is cost effective, but can eventually lead you to tackling other simpler jobs like changing bulbs and wiper blades.

These instructions are written toward the average person who has basic mechanical skills and a desire for do-it-yourself projects. By basic mechanical skills, I mean that readers should already know how to use a few basic tools and need not be an expert mechanic.

The three basic steps are:
(1) Obtain the tools needed to complete the job efficiently and in the shortest amount of time

(2) Change your oil

(3) Discard the old oil safely
Note:Oil disposal has become a huge environmental problem in the last 10 years or so. The Environmental Protection Agency now enacts a fine -- into 6 figures -- for improper oil disposal. Before accomplishing this procedure, it is recommended that you locate a quick-lube business that will accept your discarded oil at no charge

List of tools and supplies needed to perform the procedure:

· One 3/8-drive socket set (9.5 mm metric
· One wrench set, closed- and open-end, SAE or metric
· Oil filter wrench of decent
· Oil catcher -- an oil pan, an old kitchen basin, a plastic pail
· 2 empty one-gallon containers with screw-on lids
· Funnel and a one-quart plastic baggie
· Old newspapers and dirty rags
· Work clothes and, if your hair is long, a cap
· Pair surgical gloves (optional)
· A new oil filter (check your vehicle owner's manual for part listing requirements)
· Ample oil to refill the engine (Refer to your owner's manual for the proper grade and exact number of quarts)
· New washer seal

Getting started:
1. Before you begin, pick out a flat area to work on. Then take your car for a short drive to heat up the oil, thereby reducing its viscosity for a more thorough drainage.

2. Drive the vehicle long enough so that the temperature gauge registers a warmed engine.

3. If you don't have a temperature gauge, or if your gauges are broken, turn on the heat and drive the vehicle until warm air begins to flow.

4. Turn motor off, place the car in park, then set the parking brake. For added safety, block the tires.

5. Get underneath the car to find the oil drain plug. If there isn't ample room to fit underneath, you will need to jack up the car up.

Warning: Set the vehicle on jack stands. Never crawl underneath a car held up solely by a jack. Always use jack stands.


6. Locate the drain plug. It should be set on the closest thing to the ground; it is a rather large nut with a washer underneath it.








Caution:
Make sure you're not mistaking the transmission drain plug for the oil drain plug. The transmission drain plug is a larger nut. Another way to determine the difference between the two is that the metal around the oil drain plug will be much hotter after an engine warm-up

7. Put on your surgical gloves. Take a socket wrench and put a correct-sized socket onto it. Place the socket over the oil drain nut and turn it counter-clockwise. If the nut is frozen and will not loosen up after several attempts, locate a same sized closed-end wrench.


7. Now take some old towels or newspaper and place them under the car. Be sure to cover where the oil filter protrudes out, as it leaks after removal. Glance up into the motor and look for the oil filter, it looks like a small, round cylinder usually white or orange with indents around the face.

8. Now get your drain pan and place it under the oil drain plug. Place it so the oil stream hits it just right. Loosen the oil drain plug and set it to the side. The oil should drain in under than 2 minutes.








Warning: Coming into skin contact with hot engine oil can cause severe burns

9. Locate your filter wrench. Remove the socket off the wrench and put the oil filter wrench over the socket wrench. You may need to use a short ratchet extension, to.

10. Place the filter wrench over the oil filter and turn it counter-clockwise. Once you feel it loosen, then turn it a little bit more, and then slide the wrench off and complete the process by hand. Use caution as it has hot oil inside! Be sure that your face is not underneath it. Remove it and pour the remaining oil into the drain pan. Place the old oil filter on the newspaper.


11. Open the hood (of the car and take off the oil filler cap. Set it to the side as this will help the oil drain better.

12. Before you thread the new oil filter back into place, place a finger into the drain pan oil and lightly coat the small rubber gasket at the bottom of the oil filter as this will help it seal much better against the block of the engine.

13. Next, grab a clean rag, clean off the metal opening on the engine where the oil filter sits, and then tighten the new filter onto the engine post. When it's hand-tight, continue to tighten it by hand about one-half to three-quarters of a turn until snug.

14. Place the new washer seal and the washer on the oil drain plug to avoid possible leakage and place the drain plug back in its hole.


15. Set the oil funnel into the oil filler hole on the top of the engine and pour in as many quarts as the manufacturer recommends. After all of the oil is in the engine, turn the oil cap back on clockwise and then check the dipstick for proper oil level, just to make sure. Grab the old oil filter and place it in a safe, sealed bag or container, and dispose of it properly.


16. Start the engine, and let it idle for several minutes checking for leaks. Once you verify that there are no leaks, drive to the nearest oil recycling to dispose of the old oil.

I have been changing the oil on my car since I could remember, and it's paid off in spades over the years. With a little effort and an open area you can change your oil too and save big $$$.

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Letter To Roomstore

Brian Harsh
The RoomStore

Dear Mr. Harsh
You have really good people working in sales!!
I bought a sofa/Loveseat combo from your Scottsdale Store from Betty Harper on the first week of July 2008.
We first visited several furniture stores throughout the valley and wound up at the RoomStore due to its great pricing and diverse selection of furniture. My wife and I eventually selected items “201232294” and “204232297 sofa/loveseat combination as her choice. Since then we've reconsidered our purchase due to the premature collapse of the seat cushioning and the inherent flaw in the quality of the filling material in the cushions.
Back in the 1990’s in Chicago, I had worked my way through school as a furniture repairman doing contract work for 25 Chicago furniture retailers, and trust me when I say that I know furniture, and materials inside and out. You have a great product but the particular function of our purchase is not suited for our use.
I was told that the RoomStore is willing to send out a repair person to evaluate the “defective cushions.”
I explained to Barbara that the inherent design is the issue and not a particular defect, and to send someone out would only waste both the stores time, and money and it would be unfair to do so as there is nothing short of adding more filling or additional stuffing which over time would produce the same results of sagging and misalignment of the cushioning seats.
I requested an upgrade to possibly the leather Sofa/Loveseat combo and was advised that an additional 25% plus warranty charge would be incurred and it was “impossible” to return after the 3 day contract period.
All my life I've prided myself on being flexible enough to go the extra mile and make changes for the people I've dealt with.....building projects, repairing, owning and operating a franchise, and working with kids (20 years this year!).
Now, I'm told that the possibility to upgrade is set in concrete (even though we have only had the furniture for two weeks now and spend a total of 3 hours a day on it in our home.)
A company as big as The RoomStore surely has the resources to make things happen. (A former CEO once told me, "It's never money that determines whether we can or cannot do something. It's priorities and flexibility......if we decide we want to do something, we do it.")
I have lived by the same philosophy all my life. When I bought my 2nd furniture set this year, I went through many stores in the valley, and wound up at the RoomStore because of their quality and reputation. I was able to accomplish this in spite of so many choices
in furniture by taking the blinders off and being open to changes. I have never expected less from myself or the people I deal with.
It's been explained that an upgrade and exchange is next to impossible. I live by the adage that nothing is impossible. (I can't relate to "impossible"....I've had no experience with that kind of thinking). I am requesting that you consider being flexible enough to put in the change order necessary (with the owners if need be).
Please consider letting us exchange our brand new sofa/loveseat combo for a higher end piece such as leather or something comparable. I know it's not an impossibility.....it's just a matter of priorities, flexibility, and then deciding to go the extra mile and making it happen.

Thank you in advance for your consideration in this manner,
Raymond Michaels

P.S.
(I'm looking forward to living with your beautiful furniture in not only this home but my next!!)

How to get what you need from a company

Photo by littlefeather100

In today's high tech world, bad customer service is the bane of doing business. In a post-Global society with technology in place, just the opposite effect is taking place.

Let's face it people communication sucks today. I was in Los Angeles just the other day at Bob's Big Boy, and had ordered a Cheeseburger, and large fry with a small diet Coke.
I gave my order slowly and clearly not once, but twice to the young teenage girl in the bright red uniform behind the counter.When I got to my car I looked in the bag, and to my dismay I found 2 double hamburgers and one onion ring. I was too tired and hungry to go back into the chain and wait in line for the correct order.

One would think that with the rabid competitiveness in a free trade society, exemplary customer service would be the normal venue of your shopping experience, but exactly the opposite is occurring. Companies are understaffed causing their workers to take on many, and varied roles in their day to day operations.Companies are also cutting costs and extras across the board just to stay afloat. All of this cutting is causing you and me the consumer to suffer.
In this post I will show you how to take control of your shopping experiences.

First Rung - CSR
First level customer support at most businesses are there to create noise becoming a barrier between you, and the companies executives. Using what I call the ladder technique starting with the first "barrier" or rung, politely state your wishes to the CSR. Remembering that they are mostly low paid and overworked people just trying to make a living.

Second Rung - Assistant Manager
Assistant managers are not much higher up on the food chain than the CSR.
Presenting your desires, and expectations at this level may or may not get you what you need. Ask politely for a quick resolution, remembering to never get upset, or confrontational if you do not get the answers that you want. This is all part of the necessary process in getting what you want.
Present you request as clearly, and decisively short as possible, skipping over the details that do not matter such as,"This store is set up so you can't find anything."
Stick to your facts, and once you are finished presenting your case remain silent letting the person mull over his or her own words, giving them time to think. Remember that they want to help you, but at this level they still may hope that the crumbs they throw at you, be it as it may, will keep you from going any higher up in the company.
If you cannot reach an agreement with him or her, then politely let them know that their answer is not sufficient, and that you are requesting their managers contact information.

Third Rung - Manager
OK now were getting closer to the top, and in my experience you may get what you ask for fifty percent of the time at this level. A managers function is still the same and that is to keep you from going higher up on the company food chain.Tell the manager what you want from them. Do use some tact, but be direct. Most business people will respect you more for it. Once again be direct and candid, while only presenting the facts as to why you think the company owes you something.

Fourth Rung - Regional Manager

Regional managers are there to manage both the revenue and cost elements of an organization. They are also valuable PR for the company. Let the regional manager know in no uncertain terms, how frustrated and exhausted you are trying to get your issue resolved, and that you have every bit of faith in them at providing an amicable outcome.
Once again present "ONLY" the facts leaving out as much of the incidentals as possible.

A list of needed mandarory facts:

1. Location of the store.

2. Any contact names and telephone numbers that you have in your possession.

3. Dates and times

4.Conversations and results to date.

5. Printed material such as receipts.


Fifth Rung - District Manager
District Managers like their counterparts get edgy when they have a complaint come across their desk that couldn't be resolved at the lower levels.
Many times they will take the information they receive, contact all individuals involved thus far, and may take several days to get back to you before making his decision. Once again your chances of success go up ever so slightly over the fifty percent mark so don;t get discouraged.
If they rule against your claim find out why, get his corporate contact information, and kindly thank him for his time.

Sixth Rung - Corporate
All Corporations have a web presence, and list their contact information on their website. Email every department that they have available and c.c. everyone involved, so that you have many eyes on your issue, and won't slip thru the cracks.

Seventh Rung - Vice President and CEO
I group these two together as they will be mailed a letter via certified mail. I have enclosed a letter that I once used to have my leather sofas exchanged 30 days after the 3 day no-hassle exchange and/or refund policy.
It worked beautifully!

Remember to think like a CEO, and fire and hire judiciously, and reward with good service with repeat business when appropriate. Ask yourself this question the next time you're getting the run-around from a business."When was the last time that you've picked up the five pound yellow page book?" I always use the yellow page analogy, and sometimes point it out to less than enthusiastic businesses. A little effort goes a long way in today's high-tech indifferent world.

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