Cultivating deep relationships- How to attract others

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First, let’s ponder the fundamental objective mindset regarding relationships. This state of mind assumes that other people are different, and different than you, and you correspond with them through languages, tone of voice, and body language. Here are some examples of the objective relationship framework:

Separation - People have their own thoughts which are different and distinct from your own.

Risk of rejection - Human interaction is both inaccurate and uncertain because you never know what other people are thinking.

Potential resistance - It takes daring to approach an unfamiliar person; you never know what type of resistance you may encounter when you try to start a conversation with an individual you don’t know.

Trust takes time - Relationships are built on open communication, mutual trust, and familiarity, which take time to make.

Bonding takes time - You feel nearer to people you know, and separated from people that you don’t know. Complete strangers are your biggest risk of all; the less you know about someone, the less positive you are of your mutual rapport prospects.

Risk of attachment - There’s a definite risk of becoming close to destructive, or abusive relationships and people (or simply those that no longer serve a purpose) because you’ve invested so much time and vigor in constructing them. This is the relationship structure that most individuals identify with. Nonetheless, I consider this a disempowering state of mind, not because it’s so horrible — it is rather functional — but because there’s a better alternative. I spent most of my life utilizing this framework, and I received run of the mill results with it. I had fun spending time with my friends, and I didn’t suffer from too much loneliness, but I never had secure relationships with friends who’d persuade me to live up to my true potential or who’d let me do the same with them.

It was kind of a silent rule that you didn’t talk about things like duty, principle, or service for the a better good. Such topics were the domain of famous historical people and saints, not ordinary persons with bills to pay, and jobs to go to. The attitude of relationships First, let’s mull over the basic objective about relationships. This attitude assumes that other people are detached and different from you, and you talk with them through words, tone of voice, and body language. Here are some categories of the objective relationship structure:

Separation - Other individuals have their own feelings which are different from yours.

Risk of rejection - Human relations are both inaccurate and chancy because you never know for sure what other people are thinking about you or a subject.

Potential opposition - It takes boldness to approach an unfamiliar person; you never know what level of resistance you may get when you try to begin a discussion with someone you that don’t know. Trust takes time - Associations and friendship are based on communication, confidence, and familiarity, which all take time to construct.

Bonding takes time - You are drawn closer to individuals you are familiar with and more isolated from people you don’t know. Complete strangers are the biggest risk; the less you know about someone, the less sure you are of your mutual friendship prospects.

Risk of attachment - There’s a hazard of becoming attached to toxic or abusive affairs (or merely those that no longer help you grow) for the simple reason that you’ve invested so much personal time and energy in constructing them. This is the framework for relationships that people associate themselves with. And it is very common.

Dump it! - Why you may ask? Not because it is not functional because it is. It’s just that there is a better alternative. I have spent many years of my life using the above mindset, and the results I received were mediocre at best. Don’t get me wrong, I had many magical moments with friends, buy I never acquired close personal friendships with friends who would encourage me to be myself and live up to my best potential, or who would let me offer the same to them. It was often the norm that you did not discuss things like purpose, or your mission in life because such esoteric topics were the in the domain of famous historical icons of saints, not everyday people with bills to pay and jobs to go to.

A chance meeting - One day I had an encounter with a strange woman. I call it a chance meeting because our meeting was the consequence of a peculiar occurrence.

During one of our initial conversations with each other, I virtually bared my heart out to her. She discovered more about who I was in a single conversation than my all of my friends had learned baout in years. At the time I didn’t know why I felt the way I did with her — I just felt secure with her, and I sensed that she wasn’t judging me. We became close acquaintances immediately. I’d never felt such a deep touching closeness with another person take place so quickly before.

As time went on I observed how this woman interacted with other people, and I observed how simple it was for her to relate to others. Total strangers such as myself would open up to her within the first few minutes of meeting her. When I asked her how she engaged the trust of others so quickly and easily, she explained that it was a result of a particular way she had about viewing other people. (Her mindset)

For a long time I had resisted adapting her technique because it didn’t seem natural for me, and it felt false, yet it begged the question as to how something could be false when it worked so well. Ultimately I let down my guard long enough to try it, and she was correct. It made a huge difference for me as well.

I began to attract new friends immediately. As you may have guessed, that particular woman was Connie, who’s been my wife for 22+ years now. If you’ve ever had the pleasure of chatting with her yourself, you immediately know what she’s all about. She talks to you as a kindred soul, treating you as a real human instead of as your title, your appearance, or your character. She connects with others so readily that grown men often cry during conversations with her. While Connie definitely has some natural talent in this area, I’ve witnessed that her mindset is the key element of her capacity to authentically connect to others. To the degree I’ve been fortunate to implement her viewpoint in this area, I’ve been capable of drawing nearer to her results. My results aren’t the same level as hers, but luckily this isn’t an all-or-nothing thing.

The mindset - So what is the way of thinking that makes it easier to relate to other people? Here it is in a nutshell:

Each person you meet up with in your life — even strangers — is already personally connected to you. The mindset that we are all detached and dissimilar beings is not anything less than an illusion. Everyone one of us is parts of a larger sum. Furthermore, everything and everyone you encounter out there in the world are merely reflections of yourself. Just as the cells in an living being carry the same mitochondrial material, other people are out there with some component of you inside of them. When you look gaze at others, you’re really gazing at yourself. When you observe others, it’s the same as your eyes observing your hands. We’re all pieces of the same whole. Areas of the interrelated model of interaction:

Oneness - Others are not detached and distinctive from you. They are you.

Connectedness to each other - You don’t need to “construct” interactions and interactions with others because you’re already connected to them. You need only adjust into the pre-existing bond that’s already there.

Risk free - Little courage is necessary to draw near to strangers. You’re never constructing new associations from scratch. You’re recognizing what’s already present.

Equality - We are all the same no matter rich nor poor, famous nor obscure. Importance - All relationships are important; none are immaterial. The strangers that you pass on the street are also vital parts of you.

Love without mandatory attachment - Letting go of toxic relationships is simpler because you’re still unconditionally linked to everybody else. As you relinquish old relationships that no longer help you to grow, you’ll attract new ones that are attuned with you.

Applying the technique :

When you adopt the frame of mind that we’re all innately connected, these are some of the results that will attach themselves naturally to you:

Easy connection - You’ll connect with strangers as easily as you connect with your family, sometimes even easier. The main difference between total strangers and friends is intellectual awareness, and you can tap into an instinctive awareness even with people you’ve never met.

Equality - You’ll begin to feel a affinity with people, in spite of familiarity.

Attraction - You’ll begin starting new relationships very easily. Like-minded people will be attracted to you.

Synchronicity - You’ll encounter a magnification in synchronicities that lead to chance meetings, meeting others that you feel very drawn to meet.

Social bravery - Have you ever seen somebody from a distance you felt you were destined to meet up with? Have you ever met into the same person numerous times in the same day? With the correct belief system, you’ll feel positive starting a conversation with those people, and you’ll discover that your hunches were correct — you were intended to meet.

Deep relationships - You’ll experience deeper, less shallow relationships, getting to learn about people at the level of essence.

Energizing - You’ll attract people that energize you rather than deplete you.

Reading people – Because of the fact that we’re all connected, you can mentally bond with others, and share the same thoughts that go beyond the physical. You can even do it at a distance.

With enough practice you can acquire an accurate reading on someone you’ve never actually met, gathering specific data about people that you couldn’t have known in a merely objective sense. Put this advice into practice increases both your correctness and your aptitude to trust the information that you pick up. These benefits aren’t all-or-none or either-or. You steadily gain them as your knowledge of our spiritual interconnection grows.

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